As a parent, do you ever over react? Here is my latest...
Gabriel, my 7 year adventure, has managed to loose several
of his front teeth. Each in separate incidents via "all boy
accidental knock outs." He recently got hit in the mouth by a
basket ball.
He told me it poked a hole.
Really, what is the likely-hood? Perhaps a scrape that could
turn cold sore, maybe...
He was barely crying, there was very little blood, and when I
looked at his gums later, all I could see was a slight abrasion.
Bumps, bonks, bruises and kloncks happen so often I
encourage the boys to shake it off and go on.
Well, two days later my lovely little freak show comes to me
while I am talking with his Grandma. He uses one hand to pull
his upper lip past his nose while the other hand wiggles a
tooth.
Slight glances from me at the ever giggling boy, I give an
approving nod and continued visiting.
He recognised my half hearted attention and moved in closer
to reveal his comic delight.
Now, more directly, he pursues my whole attention. “Look
mom, my tooth pokes out my gum!" “Isn’t it cool?"
I hear, I see, I look closer, my stomach flip flops, and I squeal!
That was just the provocation he needed to turn and display
his mouth with vigor to grandma. To his delight she squealed
too.
Shock courses through my veins..
Here it comes, the part where mother scolds from fear that
rises like vomit...Blah I spewed stern words all over his
innocent fun. "Gabriel Stop!" "That's NOT normal!" "That is
not right!" "It is not funny or OK that your tooth is poking out of
your gum!" "You must not wiggle it like that for anyone else!"
Ugh, the mother afraid of wounds that won't heal just dug a
deep hole.
Shared fear clawing at us both.
He runs off.
I just sit shaking my head.
I wish he could have stayed long enough for the shock to wear
off. He would have heard something that resembled the
chuckles he was after...
Grandma exits and tries to get him to show grandpa. He
heed's the voice of his mama and will show no one his wound
now multiplied.
Moments later he wonders in. Tail between the legs, beaten,
clearly dejected and worried.
I see what I have done soul deep.
He cowers under heaviness..
I cover him with the balm of an apology for my fearful loud
words. I draw him in close.
Gently, but firmly I begin to remove every fear I placed within
his heart.
It is a bit like running into a cactus.
Some thorns pull out easy.
I let him know that it is best to not wiggle the tooth out of the
hole until we know more.
Some are deep and take the firm, stable grip of love.
I coax his confidence and build his faith anew. "Countless
children all over the world have put their teeth through their
lips." "They heal!" You too will heal."
Others, well they are what we call no see-um's.
They are invisible, but you continue to feel their prick.
On the ride home he needs to know again how everything will
be all right. "Indeed son, the God who made you, created
your mouth to produce saliva which is loaded with what
is necessary to clean, heal and make new cells to patch the
hole."
God is in the business of healing holes of all kinds...He does
it for us regularly. Consolation and healing takes on many
different forms.
